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Permalink Reply by Bill Schultz on December 8, 2011 at 9:23pm

Well, just because of people like you, we've added a new annual seminar lolapalooza called Total Bullcrap.

This is where we tell you that everything is dying: Email, Recruiting, Linkedin,Facebook, Match.com. all dead.

Faxes, Coffee, water coolers, conversation, human contact, human decency, humans, phones, resumes, your Aunt Margaret, all dead too.

Everything but cockroaches, ( the people who bring you this event)  dead.  

Sandra McCartt said:

Thanks bill, actually I've kind of been thinking about that but I'm kind of concerned that I might not make it since I won't go to conferences and seminars, put on tshirts with writing on them and listen to people who crashed and burned in recruiting tell me how to be a recruiter. I went to a conference once. Never have I ever been in that small a group who told that many lies about how much money they make to that many people who didn't believe it, got that drunk and smart so quickly and forgot that what happens at conferences does not stay there.

So gee, I don't know bout all this recruiting stuff. Seems like the only profession in the world where all the inexperienced think they know more than the experienced and change jobs every two years.

Some times I feel like the old rancher who was trying to help the young MBA whose BMW blew up next to his pasture. The youngster looked over at the herd, started telling the rancher all the new things he needed to do to make his cows give more milk, have better calves and do it more cost effectively. The old rancher asked him how he could tell all that just by looking. The youngster smiled and said he was highly educated about cows, calves and milk production and had just been to the latest convention.

The old rancher, stood up and said, "well son, your car is fixed and the only thing I can see that is wrong with all your good advice is that those are bulls, not cows so I guess I'll just keep on doing what I've been doing until somebody teaches you kids the difference between a cow and a bull"

Now that's "trubullcrap"

Sorry I couldn't stand not to steal your funniest to date :)

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Permalink Reply by Bill Schultz on December 8, 2011 at 9:41pm

Oh and Niedermyer, he's dead too.  

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on December 9, 2011 at 1:29am

What about the horse?

That sounds like it would be great. We could go international. Think of it Total Aussie Bullcrap, Total Siberian Bullcrap, Totalia Italiano Bullcraparino, total Mexicano bullcaca, total je suis Francaise canadienne boolcarp.

We could have tracks entitled dead 1.0, dead 2.0 , dead 3.0. And close out the day with "everything's deader n' shit so go home.

We will have to have tshirts that say " I heart decomp"

We can divide people up in teams called blowflys, maggots,cockroaches and buzzards and assign them a project to see which can come up with the fastest way to find anything still alive , kill it and tweet and blog about it.

Just think how much money people will pay to teach all their new recruiters that everything is dead so they will just have to die, starve and try to recruit all those people on Facebook who are dead but nobody took down their profile. Oh sorry Facebook is dead so we will have to create maps to the cemeteries so they have someplace to go with the smart phones to text each other if anybody finds a "live one".

At the end, no we can't call it the end it has to be the termination of Total Bullcrap we can send everybody to the bar for bullshots. Everybody can get drunk ,tweet and text the guy next to them about something new to kill, but since they know after attending Total Bullcrap that everything is already dead ,that just leaves each other.

And the last text/tweet will be "Elvis, social media and your job are all dead and you are next"
We can send one rollout text to the list of partisans that says:
UR dog died,ur cat died & u r adopted. Rite when u find wrk

Total Bullcrap Seminars will be considered the Darwinism of recruiting. Then we will have to kill it and go see if we can find another industry filled with people who are dumb enough to believe that when you get a new tool you throw away all the old ones. Let's not pick medicine or law for obvious reasons.

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Permalink Reply by Bill Schultz on December 9, 2011 at 2:11pm

Lol classic Sandra
"Elvis has left the Bullcrap."

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on December 9, 2011 at 3:45pm

So TRU. Now we know what Elvis would do.

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Permalink Reply by Amy Ala on December 9, 2011 at 3:48pm

let's start with politicians. :)

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on December 9, 2011 at 3:54pm

I predict that a lot of politicians , like the dodo bird, are flying in ever decreasing concentric circles and will soon disappear up their own anal orifice. It is my fervent hope that I am correct but it would be a fertile field for Total Bullcrap.

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Permalink Reply by Edwin Ostrand on December 11, 2011 at 10:08am

I would not concern myself over it as many DIY type clients post on all the job boards. What I would focus on is the added value that you as a professional recruiter offer in your screening, interviewing, strength and weakness of the candidate in your in-depth report you provide the client on each candidate in advance of the interview, which also summarizes why you are summiting them for the position.  You shorten the assignment to hire time, present better and very screen candidates who not just fix the job description but also the culture of the firm.

While many will value this service, others will always be looking to DIY or do it cheaper. Which is why we have Home Depots and Wal-Marts for that philological need.

 

Best of luck and a prosperous 2012

Ed Ostrand

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