~Not My First Rodeo~
Several days ago, I posted a picture on Facebook that drew a few comments. Someone, whom I consider a dear friend, posted a comment that I am sure was not meant to hurt me..., but it did. I was stunned and kind of shut down for a few days. With much dread, Writer's Block set in and I felt like maybe I should take a couple weeks or more off. I wrote a simple, heartfelt holiday greeting for my last Bonus Track and wanted to just curl up in a tiny ball. I also felt like apologizing to anyone who had ever read any of my posts.
After a weekend and two joyous days off, I have been rejuvenated and felt a spark this morning. So.., the flame within me wasn't and isn't completely out? No. So you can recover from unintentionally hurtful things written in full view and for all of your world to see? Yes. And I am sure no one else saw it as anything different than a stray comment. But it stung me. It also, interestingly enough, inspired me to make a few changes and to alter my thinking about what it is that I do. Why I write like I do. Who is it that I actually write for. Why do I write at all...
All good questions and all have been answered. When questions or statements haunt you, it is for a reason, there is purpose and a full review is in order. So in this, my short tale of caution, there is advice for all. There really is no etiquette book for social media. While we certainly need an Emily Post (how fitting is THAT name?) - there is no Ms. Post or Dear Abby or Ask Ann Landers anywhere on the horizon.
We are each given governance over our own Social Media land. Who we allow to trespass upon it, or to build a house. Who we allow to stop in for a spot of tea or a game of tug-of-war. Who we allow access to our medicine cabinet and our photo albums stuffed in the back hall closet. Our lives are more open than ever now. Mine is anyway. I decided several years ago, with the onslaugt of Social Media everywere and the facts and fears about Big Brother, that I would take control of what is out there about me. I would be open about my work and about who I am. This is not for everyone, certainly, but it is for me.
Throughout this week, I will be posting ideas about Social Media ethics and etiquette. I am not an expert but this is not my first rodeo. Hang on.
Consider this before you get your feelers all out of whack. If someone has you set up as a friend ,when you post something it feeds onto their wall or news feed or whatever all that crap is that is all over facebook. So if they unfriended( what a ridiculous word in the first place) you perhaps is was because what you like in your living room was being plastered on the wall in their living room (news feed) So if they didn't like it they had to remove you as a connection to keep what you like from littering up their wall.
You know i love you but let's not blur the lines between the living room in our homes and a page on a social media site. My thinks when we start thinking that reality shows are reality and social media pages are our living rooms we may need to take a step back and rethink the real world.
The first rule of politics and journalism is if we say, write or post something that causes us to get our feelers hurt or gives us a black eye, don't call attention to it unless you want to explain it and defend it.
If what we post in terms of pictures or words elicits a response that surprises us from people we want to respect us perhaps we need to give more thought to the picture or the words and why we posted or wrote them in the first place. If we choose to be totaly open and transparent on social media about all things, it might perhaps be like leaving our windows open in our home at night, the lights on then throwing a fit because someone looked through the window and commented about not liking what they saw.
It is perhaps more sexy to be slightly covered with a veil than to be nude in public thus leaving some things to the imagination of the viewer... rather than appearing nude ,protesting loudly when bystanders mutter..cover theyself, thy nuddity offends....or so sayeth the poet.
Rayanne - Stray comments can definitely leave a mark. If only people understood how much their words can effect others. But in the positive light, the comment made you stop, think and evaluate and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
I look forward to the upcoming posts.
You jumped WAY to the wrong conclusion on this one...
You jumped WAY to the wrong conclusion on this one...
I guess I was less than clear in my post. I take all comments as a conversation and sometimes conversations can be stimulating and drive change. Sometimes conversations are clueless, thoughtless, and boring.
It is the stimulating ones that I am interested in. The ones, like I referenced in this post, that make me think "what can I do better?" That is what drives development and growth. I guess the point of this post is that we can all do better, behave better in social media. There were no instructions that came with this stuff... no Dr. Phil. Most of us here have been plugging away at this stuff for a while now, it's not always easy to know what is appropriate, what will drive a worthwhile discussion and what is just BS.
That is where our own discernment comes into play. You gotta be smarter than the keys on which you're typing.
The problem we have here is that I responded to the wrong post, thus i am indeed clueless. I got this one glommed up with the one where you posted the following:
"A Facebook profile page is like someone's living room. I would never walk into a friend's living room and spray paint my thoughts about God or politics on their wall. I have the books I like in my bookcase, the movies I like in my collection. The artwork I prefer hangs on my walls. These are things I like, things I have chosen to surround me, within my own home. The same can be said for my profile wall. The things I choose to report as a status update are important to me, they say something about me, about who I am. Would you walk into my home and slash my artwork or burn my books? Not without repercussions. Do not stain my Facebook wall with your opposing thoughts unless I have called out a challenge of thoughts or it is in obvious jest. "
Read it , the phone rang , i came back and combined the two somehow. No wonder it missed the mark. It did, wrong mark. Therein is a lesson in be sure you are responding to the correct post. :)