What do you do when you question your motives? When the answer is right in front of you, but you don't want to see it? When your gut tells you one thing and your head tells you another? When the path would seem clear to anyone else, except you? When your superior tells you to go in one direction but you want to go in another? When your brain can foresee an outcome because you are a strategic thinker? What do you do?
Several years ago, I joined an executive search firm. I learned the art of recruitment from a man that knew the biz; he was a master. I thought he was the smartest man I had ever met. He had moments of brilliance and clarity that were inspiring. He was a great teacher and an even better recruiter. I used sit in a chair in his office with a yellow pad in my hands and write down every single word he said to a client and every single nuance of a conversation with a potential candidate and the details of an offer negotiation as he went back and forth between candidate and client.
He was a great recruiter, one of the best. He was a decent business man. And he was a terrible manager of people, his own employees. This was a sad fact and proof that not everyone, though excellent at one part of their job, is cut out to be good at every other aspect. Don't get me wrong; I wouldn't change anything about the time I spent working for him or what I learned. I place my time in his office, first as a sourcer, then as a recruiter, and an integral part of the team, as one of my greatest working and learning experiences ever.
He was an incredible micro-manager, he had his pulse on every part of every recruitment. And I didn't mind one bit for I always knew exactly where I stood and what was expected of me. He was easy to collaborate with and great at giving out advice. I wouldn't trade my time working for him and with him for anything. I cherish that part of my education in this industry. But my last year with the firm saw nine people hired and eleven people fired or tender their resignations; I was one of them. I resigned when I could no longer take the collapsing structure of an organization I had been with for almost five years. These are painful decisions to make.
Ultimately, we can choose to make them with purpose and move forward or we can wallow in a miserable situation and mourn what we are missing. I think I cried for a week straight after I left. It was my decision yes, but shortly prior to making that decision, I kept thinking about what would happen if I didn't leave and I didn't like what I saw. I saw unhappiness that would eventually lead to my own firing and I couldn't stay around to watch that happen. Not after I had worked so hard to learn and grow in my craft. And it was the best decision I could have ever made.
I don't have to look back and think about what might have been. I don't have to wonder if I made the right decision. I don't have to mourn the loss of a great job. I just need to remember and learn from it. This is what brings simplicity to future decisions. These experiences give credence to the next steps. This is why you have a brain and why you should use it. It isn't really your guts telling you, it is your smarts mixed with your skill and experience. You just need to listen and heed.
@ by rayannethorn