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Wednesday Wisdom: The Quest
Dear Claudia,
I’m trying to sort something out and I’d like your thoughts about it. I’m a classic Type-A personality: I like to be in charge, and expect to succeed at everything I do. My family was pretty poor when I was growing up; my parents struggled to feed us kids, and lots of times we went without. As the oldest, I worked three jobs through high school and college to help out; it was difficult, but I graduated with honors, and eventually started working in a recruiting agency. I have been there for 5 years, a top producer with an income to match. So what’s my problem? About a year ago I started really wondering what it means to succeed, and how a person can ever know if they are truly successful. My question is, what do you think is the definition of success? Is it the result of hard work and overcoming frustration and suffering? Or some thing that comes from more abstract concepts like happiness, love and joy? How do you know if you have achieved it?
Struggling
Dear Struggling,
You have certainly asked the 7-figure question, and many go through life without ever finding a good answer to it. I think you’re ahead of the crowd though, because you already know what you don’t know; imagine if you were oblivious to your quest for success and spent your life randomly, with only a vague sense of unease that there might be something more out there for you.
My take is that the definition of success is highly personal, and it is based in how well you know and understand yourself. Your values, the guiding principles of your life, influence your choices and priorities in the quest. So when you define success for yourself, you must also decide if it relates to the achievement of short-term goals and objectives, or more broadly to the quality of life and relationships you experience along the way.
For some, success is measured in the collection of money or things; for others, it is measured in the richness of family and friends, of knowing others and being truly known and loved for who you are. Still others define it in the thirst for knowledge, or the simplicity of having "just enough." Only you can decide how to measure success for yourself, but with that great freedom comes the even greater responsibility of living with your choices. So it’s easy to see why it is so important to start by knowing yourself well. A rocket launched to the moon that is off by only a fraction of a degree will miss its landing point by thousands of miles.
By answering the question for yourself, you consciously begin a journey with your eyes wide open; remember that for as long as you live "success" will be on the horizon in front of you: attainable, but calling you ever closer. Remember too that every new piece of information, every new experience in your life, influences and changes who you are becoming; I urge you to reconsider your definition of success from time to time, and allow yourself the joy of redefining it as the old definition no longer meets your needs.
I wish you well, my friend. This part of your journey is really important, and I have no doubt that you’ll be successful here, too. Write back and tell us what you find out.
**
In my day job, I’m the Head of Products for Improved Experience, where we help employers use feedback to measure and manage competitive advantage in hiring and retention. Learn more about us here.
Do you have a question you'd like answered in this weekly forum? Drop me a line!
I’m trying to sort something out and I’d like your thoughts about it. I’m a classic Type-A personality: I like to be in charge, and expect to succeed at everything I do. My family was pretty poor when I was growing up; my parents struggled to feed us kids, and lots of times we went without. As the oldest, I worked three jobs through high school and college to help out; it was difficult, but I graduated with honors, and eventually started working in a recruiting agency. I have been there for 5 years, a top producer with an income to match. So what’s my problem? About a year ago I started really wondering what it means to succeed, and how a person can ever know if they are truly successful. My question is, what do you think is the definition of success? Is it the result of hard work and overcoming frustration and suffering? Or some thing that comes from more abstract concepts like happiness, love and joy? How do you know if you have achieved it?
Struggling
Dear Struggling,
You have certainly asked the 7-figure question, and many go through life without ever finding a good answer to it. I think you’re ahead of the crowd though, because you already know what you don’t know; imagine if you were oblivious to your quest for success and spent your life randomly, with only a vague sense of unease that there might be something more out there for you.
My take is that the definition of success is highly personal, and it is based in how well you know and understand yourself. Your values, the guiding principles of your life, influence your choices and priorities in the quest. So when you define success for yourself, you must also decide if it relates to the achievement of short-term goals and objectives, or more broadly to the quality of life and relationships you experience along the way.
For some, success is measured in the collection of money or things; for others, it is measured in the richness of family and friends, of knowing others and being truly known and loved for who you are. Still others define it in the thirst for knowledge, or the simplicity of having "just enough." Only you can decide how to measure success for yourself, but with that great freedom comes the even greater responsibility of living with your choices. So it’s easy to see why it is so important to start by knowing yourself well. A rocket launched to the moon that is off by only a fraction of a degree will miss its landing point by thousands of miles.
By answering the question for yourself, you consciously begin a journey with your eyes wide open; remember that for as long as you live "success" will be on the horizon in front of you: attainable, but calling you ever closer. Remember too that every new piece of information, every new experience in your life, influences and changes who you are becoming; I urge you to reconsider your definition of success from time to time, and allow yourself the joy of redefining it as the old definition no longer meets your needs.
I wish you well, my friend. This part of your journey is really important, and I have no doubt that you’ll be successful here, too. Write back and tell us what you find out.
**
In my day job, I’m the Head of Products for Improved Experience, where we help employers use feedback to measure and manage competitive advantage in hiring and retention. Learn more about us here.
Do you have a question you'd like answered in this weekly forum? Drop me a line!
Tags: achievement, dear claudia, dear_claudia, know yourself, recruiting, success, wednesday wisdom
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Steve Levy on -
I see the real problem: While your ex-bf thought he had a 9 Iron, in reality he had a pitching wedge and dimpled balls...
TGIF
See_Jane_Recruit said:Well...I just found a new name to call my ex-boyfriend. "Golfer" is the friendliest thing I have been able to call him to date.
Sandra McCartt said:Did you know that when those cavemen were beating sticks together and screaming that they called it witchcraft. Now they call it Golf.
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Permalink Reply by See_Jane_Recruit on -
Ba-dum! Ching! He's here all day, folks! Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Steve Levy said:I see the real problem: While your ex-bf thought he had a 9 Iron, in reality he had a pitching wedge and dimpled balls...
TGIF
See_Jane_Recruit said:Well...I just found a new name to call my ex-boyfriend. "Golfer" is the friendliest thing I have been able to call him to date.
Sandra McCartt said:Did you know that when those cavemen were beating sticks together and screaming that they called it witchcraft. Now they call it Golf.
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Permalink Reply by CoachPhil on -
Amitai Givertz said:Steve, the first time I saw this was way back when in a Lou Tice [Pacific Institute] series of recordings titled: New Age Thinking. Other than some very old [and still cherished] friends who sat through the sessions with me in 1984 I have only met one person since who was familiar with Lou Tice and his work.
Are familiar with Lou Tice? I think he fell out of vogue at some point and the Pacific Institute was labeled a cult.
Lou Tice had some really interesting perspectives on success and how to overcome the self-limiting beliefs that inhibit one's ability to realize their potential. Also, as you say, goal setting was a critical component in his programming, positive self-talk and an affirmation/visualization process too.
Steve Levy said:What I'm sensing is that Struggling hasn't identified specific goals. Take a look at this:
With the center as Zero and the outside of the circle as Ten, where do you fall right now relative to your ultimate goal on each of the axes. However you want to define each axis - this is your choice. When done, connect the points on the axes and ask yourself - if this were a table top and the points defined the position of the legs, how stable a table would it be?
The point here is that you have seven opportunities each day - one in each area - to make an improvement, or 49 opportunities to improve each week. Improvements aren't quantum leaps; they are incremental movements towards a goal.
But you have to start by identifying goals...
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Permalink Reply by CoachPhil on
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I am a Raving fan of Lou Tice and the Pacific Institute, I have been able to start and grow a business by using the strategies and teachings from Lou Tice. It was very effective in coaching athletes, sales people and friends to new levels of success and understanding. "Investment In Excellence for the '90s" was my first introduction to the powerful information... when I studied with purpose I was able to increase my efficacy.
Nice to run into someone else who knows Lou. It's because of what I have assimilated by way of the Pacific Institute that I am able to coach and mentor others focusing on business leaders / entreprenuers whether they are running a business or have become a victim do to the current market conditions.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Lou's wife Diane Tice when we experience adversity she says ' This gives us longer legs for bigger strides'
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Permalink Reply by Tracey Cress on -
Being a success to me, means to live with purpose . . .
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is a quote I have close and read often.
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