I have spent the last several years building my professional network. This includes individuals for whom I have great respect and with whom I have worked or spent time. In addition, there are several people who are contacts I have made via social media; many of whom I have not officially met IRL (in real life). There are numerous professionals through RecruitingBlogs.com, LinkedIn, Facebook, Plaxo, RecruiterEarth.com, ERE, and Twitter that have become a part of a trusted circle of individuals that I would call friends.
It is interesting how this all works and how in such a short time, how important these people have become to me. In a matter of a few short years, many of these contacts I consider dear friends and have developed a level of professional trust that supersedes any I have ever felt before. I know that this comes from the information share and easy exchange that social media allows. I am lucky enough to be someone that loves her work, who cherishes the relationships I have developed and who looks forward to the daily barter that has become such an important part of my work life.
Over these years, I have tried to remain as professional as possible and have reaped the benefits of that. Oh sure, there are the occasional slips on the Recruiting Animal Show, when I have let my feelings known by a very well-placed outburst or searing jab. I am a woman who likes to talk and can find humor or a gap where humor is needed rather spontaneously and I am eager to fill it. Even through all of that good-natured fun, I try to maintain a certain amount of decorum and fulfill my end of the bargain; have interesting information or questions and deliver them in an interesting way.
I guess the reason for the build-up here is that I feel assaulted. I feel cyber-assaulted. I received three messages from a member of this network, RecruitingBlogs.com, who decided it was all right, above board, acceptable to send me degrading messages of an extremely lewd nature. It's not acceptable, not here, not on a professional network that I consider home. I could have let it go. I could have just ignored it. But I have to say, I felt violated. Like someone had come into my home and rummaged through my stuff, stood in my shower, or tried on my clothes. It wasn't, it isn't good, clean fun. It is degrading and debasing. And not for me - for the individual that decided it was a good idea to line up classically stupid messages for me to receive on a Sunday evening.
I am a mother of four who has worked her butt off to produce the body of work that is Bonus Track. I put myself through school to be able to provide better for my children. I love the recruiting industry and what it has taught me and brought to my life. If I had received these messages on MySpace, I think I could let it go and just hit the delete button. But here? At my professional home? I can't just click delete and then ignore. The messages will stay in my inbox. They will stay to remind me that even here, there are idiots and fools. Idiots who think professional networks like LinkedIn and RBC are Match.com or eHarmony and Fools who think that a really bad pick up line will work, ever. If it didn't work at the dive bar you tried it at on Friday night, it's probably not going to work here. Delete your profile. You've left the industry, now leave the network. It's ok, shoo... you won't be missed.
Be a positive contributor.
It's like the old line, anyone can be a father, it takes a real man to be a dad.
And just like cancer, sometimes you just gotta Cut. It. Out.
There are intelligent, interesting people who enrich/add value. I'd focus on those, but righteous indignation is healthy too.
Interesting posting. I had some fun pictures on facebook where I was "kissing" my family through the eye of the camera. I got tons of very lewd remarks from skanky men. Of course I removed the photo from the profile but saved it in my album. I now have a professional pic and no lewd comments. It BITES that we have to be subjected to such trash when we are trying to show a softer side of who we are.
Keep your pic. It is fun.
So..., I talked to my mom, a very conservative Republican, about this. She does not think my profile pic is provocative at all. She thinks I look happy and she can tell I have a green shirt on - not that I am sitting backwards in a chair naked.
I trust my mom about these things, so I'm going with her on this. Yes, she will always be on my side, but she will also be the first one to tell me to cover up, if she thinks I need to.
I don't think anyone has a right to send me comments that suggest we "partner in the sack"...
What if I were married? I'm not, but what if I were.
What if my children accidentally accessed my inbox? They could because I always leave RBC up on my computer.
There are all kinds of what if's - here's the deal: it's not good manners. Would you say it to my face? Do you really think a lewd pickup line ever works? ever? Figure it out. Use your brains. It is not that hard to understand that this is an extension of real life, a real person checks the messages, a real person is on the other side. If it feels like a bad idea, it probably is. Go with your gut.
I don't think so... no names have been mentioned, nor will they be. And if you wanted attention or notoriety of any kind, why would you not make your comments public, during the light of day? No, I think this kind of behavior continues because of its surreptitious nature. Take away the underhandedness and the thrill is gone; the stigma exposed.