You clicked to read about your idol Oprah, didn’t you? No, expecting some other big “O” content… Well, then you’re on the wrong website, buster!
Badge of honor, source of pleasure, reason for pride, satisfaction to scream about or maybe just something to accept quietly and celebrate contently in your own mind. The big O in all of its glory. Whether solo, with a best buddy or as a group, it’s something we’ll all experience - if we’re lucky to last that long.
What, you’re not there yet? Sorry, probably better to slowly strip it down, step by step…
Step 1: some scientific biology-type stuff happens – they mentioned it in that uncomfortable junior high health class, remember?
Step 2.0: you show up; Step 2.1: you grow up; Step 2.2: you get a JOB “work for man” and hopefully earn a few bucks along the way; it’s all very exciting so far, right?
Step 3: just when it gets interesting, weird sensations start happening with your body – you feel sharp mentally and for sure you’ve got it going on where it counts. You’ve got game. You and your kind rule this world. You’ve got mad skills, beaucoup experience and life lessons galore. Wham, bam, bring it on, ma’am!
Step 4.0: while you’re livin’ large, being all that and bag of cheesy-poofs, guess what shows up? Step 4.1: Reality - wrinkles, unpredictable vision and other essential functionality mysteriously going awry, new gray hair where it doesn’t belong and missing hair where it does belong.
Step 5.0: other people who haven’t “been there, done that” yet with step three think you’re “so last generation.” Step 5.1: it’s their turn now and it’s full speed ahead to obsolescence-ville for you.
Step 6: dorky bloggers and mass media perpetuate outrageously idiotic stereotypes warning about the side-effects of big O disease. Out of touch with technology, out of date with current trends and just whatever it is that’s “out” and not “in” – that’s that, no snuggling, no cuddling, no love. Buh, bye… don’t let the door hit your sagging ass on the way out.
Don’t worry, as long you remain (happily or unhappily) employed, use sunscreen, have a decent hair colorist, and don’t have a wardrobe from anywhere ending with “mart” you might have some immunity. But if not, look out! When anyone perceives that you have these big O conditions or you officially become O-L-D, ain’t gonna be no sexy time no more.
If you’re still reading, you may be wondering what the what!?! Or, perhaps you agree that we’ve been exposed to far too many articles about multiple generations in the workplace and all of the goofy descriptions of each. In order to avoid more of the same drivel, my attempt at levity was intended to stimulate a stripped down real discussion about the serious implications related to the above issue.
Stereotypes aside, bias, perceptions and prejudice remain alive and well in the recruiting world. Whether it is one of the many legislated “protected” categories or assorted other traits that secretly stand out, one that the general public believes is the most problematic – especially over the past 5+ years – is ageism.
Have you been hit with the big O? Either way, please share thoughts, experiences and opinions. If you’d prefer to keep your O issues private, I’d still like to have your input and will absolutely respect confidentiality of anyone that would rather not post in the public forum.