The Thumper Principle morphed into The Gambler edict



"If you can't say somfin nice... don't say nufin at all"

Phew, what a week... I had to really battle hard to ensure I kept the "Thumper Principle" in check. I really do prefer to live by this... I rarely react well emotionally, and tend to go over the top and embarrass myself when hindsight kicks in.

That said, I have this week so far self censored out 2 blog posts, 5 forum responses and 9 emails. By self censoring out I mean, I wrote and then decided not to sent or post. Maybe everyone is under pressure, maybe I am just feeling it more at the moment?

OK quick run down:

a) I had one of my top five worst calls from a Recruiter. Man it infuriated me. So I blogged about it... I actually listened to my old advice, I saved it before I posted it. I looked at it the next day, and decided against it, it really made neither him or I look good.

b) I wrote a post about Corporate Recruitment battling for respect within an organisation, on the back of a long week of in-fighting, accusation battling and pulling knives out of my back. (This also accounted for a number of those aborted emails).

c) There were a mix of dumb posts, and plain written lies on a range of forums. I wrote strong worded responses, OK some stronger than others, yet decided to again, calm down before hitting that POST button. I'm glad I did, as again, I was way to emotional, one almost had the underlying well thought out notion of "I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?". Way to win your argument Dan. Things were posted, but tempered and rational. (I hope)

There is enough negativity out there, why add to it? If the battles don't really have any long term consequences in the war, why waste ammunition?

That said for a while I took this negativity and shouldered the blame that was placed on Recruitment for the woes of the world. And there were a few, if we didn't have enough people, Recruitment was costing the company a fortune, if we had too many people, Recruitment was costing the company a fortune. Any time people didn't work out, Recruitment didn't understand the business (and were costing the company a fortune), when we hired superstars, we were lucky (the superstars were too expensive and Recruitment was costing the company a fortune). The list goes on and on, Recruitment was an easy target, we were "lucky", everyone knew how to do it, and weren't afraid to voice an opinion.

It took me a while, to find the confidence to stop believing all this stuff, and to stand up for myself and my function. When I finally did, it was so liberating, and the respect came and I began to see the function move forward. That said, I couldn't argue with everyone, and bite at everything, I'd never get anything done.

Being cautious and quiet didn't help, arguing with everyone didn't help productivity, even if it did make me feel a little better.

I remembered Kenny Rogers singing about "you gotta know when to hold them... know when to fold them... know when to walk around.. know when to run!"

This one worked better... Thanks Kenny. Work life hasn't gone without the finger pointing, as there is always someone under pressure trying to deflect their ills, but responses are made appropriately and not in an emotional manner. Things are still going in the right direction.


Views: 22

Comment by Steve Levy on March 16, 2009 at 10:09am
Whew, I'd have 10 years of blog posts for all the things I haven't posted (I know it doesn't seem like I moderate my comments - but really, I do). Then there are times when I've given my ideas to others and let then take a stab at the message; this has worked out better because I believe if I'm feeling some angst, so are others.

This community is like a marriage - sometimes saying exactly what's on your mind is important but how it's said and the words one uses need to be changed. Rather than delete the message, bounce it off others you trust and see if they feel the same way. Then post it - but include another perspective.

It's what you never say that gets you into hot hot water versus offering up your feelings but with the view from another's eyes.
Comment by Steve Levy on March 16, 2009 at 10:09am
And by no means am I remotely close to an expert on relationships - at least my own...

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